People often believe that every sister graciously answers God’s call, but that is not always so. There are those who do answer God’s call graciously, and then there is my call.

When I was growing up I wanted to be one of two things: a rock star or a housewife. When I received God’s call to enter into a closer relationship with Him, my answer to Him was emphatic! I told the Lord, “I will follow you wherever you want me to go, but NOT to the convent.” I fought God until I could fight no longer for the desire to serve Him became so strong in me that I could not ignore it no matter how I tried. I finally told God, “You win,” and then I feverishly began searching for a community. I told God that if He wanted me in religious life He had to help me find a place since I had no contact with any sisters. It was at this point that I found an ad for the Daughters of Mary and I turned the page. If I am going to be a sister, I am going all the way: the traditional black habit and the cloister. The Daughters of Mary showed up again, and again I said “NO.” Then they showed up again and again. A total of five times the Daughters of Mary popped up; in newspapers, magazines and in a conversation with a priest who was trying to help me. It took me long enough but I finally got the hint that maybe it wasn’t by accident that the Daughters of Mary kept coming up. I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to just visit. There was no way I was going to join them because I wanted the cloister and not an active community. The moment I stepped through the Motherhouse door, I knew that I had finally found my home. I knew that I didn’t want to leave.

God often sends us things that we do not want; not being mean but to fulfill a purpose. I still long for the cloister, but I know that if I ever left the Daughters of Mary I would lose the deep peace that God has put into my soul. I know that I am doing God’s will here because it certainly is not my will. And yet, I have never been happier. Isn’t it strange how God works? He knows me better than I know myself.